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Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats
We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
With their minds made up that they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
And the cook will appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow,
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow!
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"
The family will say, "It's that horrible cat!
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"
And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather
We go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?
And when you hear a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash
Or down from the library there comes a loud ping
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming
The family will say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer!"
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!

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Copyright 2014 by Jen Philpot

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