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Mr. Mistoffelees

We have to find Old Deuteronomy

You ought to ask magical Mr. Mistoffelees
The original Conjuring Cat
There can be no doubt about that
Please, listen to me and don't scoff
All his inventions are of his own bad
There’s no such cat in the metropolis
He holds all the monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees's conjuring turn

And we all say:
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

He’s quiet, he’s small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it was merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment, and then it is gone!
But you find it next week lying out on the lawn!

And we all say:
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Presto!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

His manner is vague and aloof
And you would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice can be heard on the roof
While he was curled up by the fire
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
While he was about on the roof
(At least we all heard that somebody purred)
Which is uncontestable proof
Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
While he was asleep in the hall

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

And we all say:
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

And we all say:
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

I give you the magical, the marvelous
Mr. Mistoffelees!

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Copyright 2014 by Jen Philpot

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